Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

May 18, 2012

Tomorrow makes a year.

And I miss him.


I’ve been angry that he was taken from me

Frustrated that my attempts at new starts have gone wrong, a lot.

Tired of being alone, sleeping alone, waking up alone, driving alone.

Sad at the absence of part of me, my best friend, my advocate.


But I’ve also been joyful at the blessings in my life

Hopeful for the future

Excited by the possibilities

Grateful for God’s eternal love, mercy and patience. Grateful for the people he’s put around me. Grateful for Andy and the short time we had together.


It’s been twelve months of every emotion under the sun, but as the dust storm settles and I step out into the sunshine I look down at my wedding ring and remember how lucky I was to have been loved so completely, and I look up to the cross and remember how blessed and undeserving I am to be loved so perfectly by the Lord of all.

And when I have that, I don’t need anything else.



Be so happy with the way you are
Just be happy that you made it this far
Please be happy now
Jason Mraz


  1. Beautiful ses always in my thoughts I can’t believe it’s been a year already big huggs x

  2. Oh, Ses, you ARE perfectly loved by the Lord, and by so many people here on earth! I am so sure that God has great things planned for your life. He has been allowing you to take time to grieve, and for you to experience the love of others. How wonderful is that love! Hang in there, Ses…hugs from the U.S.

  3. xxxx

  4. xxxxxx

  5. He loved you very much.

    We all miss him, I think of him a lot. xx

  6. Your blog posts are always beautiful, and have always made me cry! You are an amazing girl, love and miss u lots xxx

  7. You popped into my head today, Ses. I think of you and Andy often, even though I’m across the pond and don’t know you in real life. Prayers and good thoughts for you, always.

  8. I just wanted to say how I admire your courage & your faith. I was researching “prolapsed stomas” & somehow came to your blog. I will continually pray for you & your strength, for God to wrap his loving arms around you.

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