Archive for October, 2011

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Now…

October 27, 2011

So I’ve been pretty absent over the last couple of months, but I’m still here, promise! Thought I’d keep you lovely people updated on me and where I’m at now…

I moved to Devon. My parents have lived in Plymouth for a while now and it’s the place that most feels like home. So I’m here, with the sea and the rain for the foreseeable future. I’ve found a lovely flat near The Hoe and am currently waiting on the legal shmegal to happen, then the builders are moving in to renovate the place. It’s going to be a beautiful home for my youngest sister and I when it’s done though and I’m very excited about it!

I’m enjoying settling in down here, meeting new people, catching up with old friends… looking for a church, knitting group, job (maybe, yes, and hopefully soon now my CV is finally sorted)

I had the most amazing summer, really full of fun and so refreshing for my very tired soul. And now I feel like I’m ready to get up and get on. I’m still blogging, in a short, knitty sort of way over at Stitches & Swatches. And I’ll update here if anything especially exciting happens, like I finally open my etsy shop or write a book or get the NHS to change their policy on Colitis patients.

So all that’s left to say really is thank you. Thank you for reading, for letting us ramble, for over 58,000 blog  hits. Thank you for praying and hoping and loving us. Thank you for supporting two random strangers as they faced cancer head on.

I’m going to finish with this – EVERYTHING good we did, we did it through the power of Jesus Christ. All our hope and positivity and strength, all our love for each other, all our patience and trust… was all God. Right from the start, we said we would trust that He would look after us and we would do it in His strength. And we did, and He was faithful and true. And that’s the only reason that I’m still standing now.

~ “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”~

I love you!

Ses xxx

 

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Happy Birthday

October 20, 2011

My darling husbandface,

Yesterday was the 19th. 5 months since you died. They always come round and feel like a punch in the stomach but that was the hardest so far because today is your birthday. Last year on the 19th we went out for dinner. I wanted to go to St Albans and go somewhere posh, you wanted to go to Frankie and Benny’s in Hatfield. So we did, but I didn’t tell them it was your birthday the next day because no-one wants to hear Cliff Richard singing ‘Congratulations’ again! (I think we went there too much!)

And then on your birthday we had a lazy morning with presents – you loved the jumper I bought you and wore it non stop until you died – and went to chemo. And as usual, despite having to spend your birthday plugged into a pump, you smile and charmed everyone and we had cake while you subjected us to endless Top Gear repeats. And then we went home (via McDonalds of course – a post-chemo ritual that, while disgusting, I miss so much now) and spent the rest of the day snuggling on the sofa. I cooked you something and we watched rubbish TV.

But now it’s this year, and you’re gone. And instead of spending the last week shopping and cooking and baking and  hiding secrets, I’ve spent it crying and missing you and still so cross that you didn’t make it.

I don’t know whether there’s birthdays in heaven. Or ‘salvation days’… I guess every day is a crazy mad celebration of how awesome God is and how much He loves each and every one of us. (With cake I’m sure – Jesus loved his feasting!) But I’ll be raising a glass tonight, in celebration of you. Of how much you loved me, of the amazing husband that you were  and how your voice at the back of my head saying ‘come on honey, man up, you can do this!’ gets me through every day.

I love you, so much, and I always will. And I miss every day.

Wifelet xxx