May 26, 2011

Click here for the video slideshow I made for the funeral: http://www.facebook.com/v/342415804995

And my tribute to Andy that our friend Rich read for me:

It was a cold day in late September, and I had been travelling for hours. Waiting at a train station, somewhere in the middle of the Netherlands, I had no idea that I was about to meet my husband. And my first thought when seeing this handsome young man step out of the car wasn’t ‘I’m going to marry him!’ – rather, ‘why isn’t that guy wearing a jumper? It’s freezing!’
But sometime over the next couple of days I realised that there was more to this guy than an inability to feel the cold and within weeks of our return to the UK we’d fallen in love. And life with Andy started.
Life with Andy was never boring . He wholeheartedly threw himself into everything – whether it was engineering – putting his degree into good use by teaching it in schools, developing patents and taking apart most things in the house, or, of course, biking. He was never happier than when he was bombing it down a hill on two wheels or taking his bikes apart – I never managed to persuade him that a cream carpet wasn’t a sensible place to service a pair of oily bike forks on.
And he was a wonderful husband. Before he got ill I broke my jaw and got really sick from the painkillers, and he spent weeks looking after me, taking me to the doctors and mashing my food up, even when I was grumpy and horrible and throwing up everywhere. And even after he got ill, and was feeling tired and rubbish, he always made sure that we had time together. And that was what I always admired most about Andy – his generosity – the way he would give of his time and himself for other people – whether it was devoting time to his relationship with me, getting up at 2 in the morning to rescue a friend stranded in A&E or the countless hours spent helping with Alpha here at church.
I think his smile is what I’m going to miss most. Looking through pictures, there’s hardly any where he’s not beaming. He beamed at roast dinners, at stupid faces I made, every time he picked up our adored godson Harrison. He beamed at bike videos, at Formula one and as he argued about barbeque methods with his parents. In fact, he beamed at most things, even after 17 sessions of chemo and weeks spent in hospital, he was still smiling, still happy, still a gentleman.
The cancer might have beaten him physically, but it never beat his spirit. When he got diagnosed, he prayed ‘Lord, if I live, I’ll live for you. And if I die, I’m coming home.’ And I believe that he has gone home and he has received his very great reward. And God has welcomed him with the words ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!’
He inspired me to keep hoping and holding on to God, even when the going gets tougher than we could possibly imagine. He gave me the gift of patience and perseverance, and for those things I will always thank him. And of course, I am just so, so proud and honoured to have called him my husband and my best friend.



  1. I just wanted to tell you that I have been praying for you and your family. I am at a loss for words. Your journey with Andy has touched my life. Thank you for sharing. I have followed your posts in Ravelry for some time now. I will continue to pray for God’s peace and comfort.

  2. Thank you for sharing Andy with us.

  3. You are a beautiful person and from Adelaide in wintery South Australia you have inspired me and I you have lived your vows. What a wonderful short time you had together. God Bless you Valma

  4. Ses

    Thankyou for sharing your wonderful Andy


  5. Ses – I have just found this blog and read it from start to end. Your strength inspires me and your story humbles me. I guess this is the tough bit – starting to learn about life on your own. I will be praying of you and thinking of you over the coming months, as the organisation subsides, and a new ‘normality’ assumes itself. Of course, having said this, you will never be alone. Allow your loving heavenly father, and earthly friends and family to care for you. Much love.

  6. Through your words you have told the word about Andy and we came to know him. Your tribute was beautiful and I am glad that you were able to share your thoughts –something that my grief kept me from doing when my DH died of cancer.

    I find comfort in the word of Wisdom 3,1-8. Andy and my DH are among the just in the hands of God. I truly believe that were tried and found worthy.

    The grace that came from our marriage helped me to get through DH’s llness like you did for Andy. It will help you through the days ahead to guide you.

  7. Just stumbled across your notes. Really sorry to hear your terrible news.
    I didn’t know Andy a great deal but I’d happily concur that your Eulogy to Andy captures his spirit perfectly. I’m glad you guys enjoyed the time you had together and I’m totally impressed by how well you handled everything. God bless and give you strength 🙂 Manny.

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