Psychological changes to eating

May 3, 2010

Today was an interesting day. It was a day I knew had been building for weeks and was really not sure what the result would be.

The obstacle was food, not something normally associated with me, as food is one of the things I hold close to my heart as a true simple joy. However over the past 7 weeks of being ill I’ve missed soo much eating, along with twice having the situation where food was actually harming me and my body did some very strange things to stop me consuming it.

Each time I was discharged from hospital part of the deal was that I’d eaten a reasonable amount of food, now while this was sensible and showed them something, it wasn’t the full picture. As I said I love food and eating and so the consuming of food to allow me to be discharged which was something I wanted right?……. Well it was something I thought I wanted, not what my body really wanted due to the underlying problem of the blocked large intestine. It was this underlying body function that was broken that triggered something I’d not felt before which was even though there was perfectly good, tasty food in front of me I could barely bring myself to put it in my mouth, let alone bite, chew and swallow it. I kept getting the urge not to eat, then would force a little down, to be met with the feeling I was going to vomit and on occasion did into my throat. This confused me further as normally when I let rip, it’s in a projectile, “here comes everything” style stomach vomit, this was just more of a ‘no don’t dont do that’ feeling.

Having had this happen the past two times I’d tried to eat, fast forward to yesterday morning to me sitting there with a bowl of rice crispies (about the limit of what I achieved previously). I felt overwhelming joy as the urge to eat the cereal came over me, and continued until every scrap of food on my table had gone (2 full rounds of jam sandwich and a cup of tea and cup of hot chocolate and even one of those high energy shakes). The food worry started to be dispelled, lunch didn’t happen due to the kitchen sending up less than half the ward’s food but I still wanted to eat, another round of jam sandwich was dispatched and I was just starting on the soup Ses had brought me up, when Sarah rang to see if (after mentioning one in an earlier blog) I wanted McDonald’s banana milkshake bringing over, I wasn’t going to let that opportunity pass!

Again though as soon as I saw it I wanted more and really had to stop myself gulping the whole thing down in 10 seconds flat!

By this time I was pretty sure that I was doing ok from psychological point of view. I was properly fixed!

I know it might be a simple pleasure to want to be able to enjoy, but it is also one of biggest pieces of advice to ileostomy patients is for the recovery and future ahead,  to enjoy your food, eat it slowly and chewing it well. Amen to that and long may it continue!


(NB – Andy wrote this whilst pretty doped up on the sedative they gave him for his shoulder – I’ve corrected the spellings but have left it intact for you to enjoy! Told you it would be interesting! – Ses)


One comment

  1. I totally agree with you Ses Tis is a life saving op which will change both your lives but not for the worse. Your positive attitude will get you both through this thinking of u k xxxxxxxxxx

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