A Note

May 3, 2010

The blog is a blog about an ileostomy. That’s the intestine brought out through the stomach so it can deposit faeces into a bag. Those are the facts.

I’ve had a few people say ‘ewww, too much information!’

It’s not disgusting. Changing the nappy of a toddler who’s determine to squish it all about as much as they can before you can catch them is more disgusting. Changing a tampon is more disgusting. Clearing up vomit (especially someone else’s) is much more disgusting.

It’s this ‘Ewwwww’ attitude that makes ostomy bags and ostomates themselves such a taboo. That taboo is something Andy & I are determined will not affect us, and I don’t have time for people who are going to let it affect their relationship with Andy.

Yes, this is partly a blog for our family & friends to follow Andy’s progress, but it is also a blog to show other ostomates, or people facing the operation, how a man and his wife are coping with the transition.

We’re going to talk about poo. We’re going to talk about body parts. We may even talk about ‘marital relations’ (Sorry Mom!)

We’re not going to purposefully make it gross or obscene, we’re determined that in everything we do, including blogging, we will honour God. But we’re going to be honest. I’m warning you now!




  1. Good! Love you both millions x x x

  2. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I saw your post on Ravelry (I’m wawieknits there). I am 26 and have Crohn’s and I’m unsure what the future holds.

  3. Those comments are ridiculous. This is not gross. I like your comparison to other things like more traditional poo, or blood, or vomit, because while it’s something you’d rather not deal with, it’s here and it’s not any different.

    Also, hi Andy! I’m pocketsize/Cristina, one of those people from Ravelry, I hope you don’t mind. Ses has been keeping us updated and then directed us here. We don’t really know each other, but for what it’s worth from this stranger on the internet, I hope you get better soon, you are about due a break!

  4. A good friend and work colleague of mine has Crohn’s, which although different, shares similarity in treatment. Like you, he is open about his experience (although he probably wouldn’t know how to blog it). It’s definitely the right thing to do.

    I was lucky that my recent stays in hospital didn’t involve anything with populist stigma attached. However, I can see some parallels between what you are going through and the decision I made early last year to be open about my mental health (which definitely does have stigma attached). I found that talking about it really helped me and, finding out how many people had gone through a similar experience and come through it, really gave me strength to keep going.

    From chatting with my above-mentioned friend about his experience, I’m guessing that for you this a temporary procedure with every chance that they will be able to ‘plug you back in’ at some point (when your lower intestine has had a chance to rest after the operation and the flare-up of your underlying condition).

    Stay happy mate,


  5. Thanks for the comments,

    Roger, I’ve had to have all my large intestines removed leaving only my rectum as the colitis had made such a mess of them. The small intestines can be plugged back into the rectum with a created pouch, in a semi reversal, but will lead to similar symptoms to the colitis I had before, and would require two further major surgeries. However there is no rush to make any decisions as I’ve got years to see how I get on with the bags etc. I’m glad that you found being open has helped, I’m sure a lot of people’s perceptions of anything are usually formed by the extreme end that gets reported in the media so when people realise there are lots of people around them facing these challenges to a more mild extent they stigma gets broken or massively reduced!

    wawieknits/Laura, My main bit of advice would be to push for regular colonoscopies, as after my initial diagnosis in 2001 I was told I wasn’t due one for 10 years! This seemed far too long and in fact it is, by the time they removed my large intestines they were in a pretty bad state which would have been picked up by a colonoscopy had I had one more regularly and would have led to better/different treatment. As it was with mine had I not had the blockage I would have been in this situation after my next colonoscopy as my large intestine was pretty shot. There’s only so much they can tell from blood tests and obviously they couldn’t tell enough from mine! If you want any more information or want to exchange e-mail addresses etc then message Ses on ravelry and she’ll give you mine. I’m more than happy to answer any questions you have.


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